"Idle hands are the Devil's playground."

Sage advice from an era long ago. Now, it seems that there are so many things to preoccupy our hands; from iPods to the random text messanging we all seem to be addicted to these days. But honestly, how often do we find ourselves taken with a book? In 2008, I can say it's about as rare as rotary phones. But this being April, I have found myself waiting for a book (No, not Entertainment Weekly, smartasses). Trust me, for Seth to get excited about a bunch of paper pages with words on them is not of the normal. Before I start coming off like some sort of book-phobe, let me explain- or even "promote" (I'm not being remunerated for this praise, although I wish I was.) my latest literary fascination...

Sure, like I stated, a book is just a bunch of words thrown together on paper- but for some of us, it's the way they are casted into written form that makes it either appealing or appaling. But my venture one day last year into the mind of author/comedienne Chelsea Handler was one that left me hungry for more...
"My Horizontal Life" was her first attempt last year at a new direction in her musings, and I have to admit, I was drawn in like a moth to a very vulgar and very slutty flame. See, "My Horizontal Life" is a real-life account, first-hand into a series of one night stands had by the author herself. Chelsea takes a no holds barred approach to telling her take on a life less chaste, which I think is pure brilliance. For if she were to disclose her sexual romps in a demure demeanor, she would most likely come off as arrongant and seem like she was bragging, much like autobiographies we have ired in the past. But she levels herself out, and often points out her own obvious stupidity to connect with the reader- who is only human and is sure to have made a lot of the same mistakes and had the same thoughts themselves. Basically, she shows us her learning curve and that we are all as only human as that guy we accidentally took home drunkenly at the bar that one night.
But it is that last statement right there that connects this book stongly to the gay community and me as a gay man; not because she is a raging drunk sleep-around, and all gay men are- but because it shows that humanity happens on both sides of the fence- straight, gay, or other wise. It also shows that sex is nothing to be ashamed of, but sometimes the people that we choose to have it with are. The main purpose of the book is to point out that sex and romance are two entirely different things, and as long as both are played safe, we should never be aplogetic at having either in any amount we choose to; which is one of the biggest stigmas gay people in America have hanging over our shoulders.
I learned the the rules of attraction are more like guidelines, and that as long as you're not hurting anyone- life really can be an enjoyable free for all. I mean, she did what 'Sex and the City' took four "independent" women to do- bravo on that Herculean task, Chelsea.

So, she threw "My Horizontal Life" into my lap a year ago, and sometime this month she will be doing the same with her next book: "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea". I, for one, can't wait- I feel like a baby bird sitting in the nest waiting for that tequila worm to drop. I suppose I can liken it to what Harry Potter feels like for some people- that is, if Harry Potter fellated people along the Jersey Shore...

So, until I am bound to my reading chair, catching up on her further sex-ploits and keeping the neighbors up with my raucous laughter, I guess my hands will remain idle. Go ahead Devil, do your worst.

Well, I suppose I could always text...